Thursday, August 12, 2010

I thought I'd be one of those people

You know, that keeps a record of everything just in case we need to refer to a day or date or test or surgery or chemo or breathing test or bill paid (or not)...and on...and on.... And I'd get so many books read while waiting at the cancer center, or pieces finished. that just isn't gonna' happen.

I have done exactly the opposite and oh, how I wish I had DJ's gift of gab and wit and humor over at Tickled Pink...but I don't and at this stage of the game called life, I don't think that's gonna' happen either:(

My hubby and I are the same age for a few short months each year and this is when we are. 63 is not old, ya'll. It really isn't!
63 is when you look just a little ahead to retirement and a little relaxation and maybe just a dollar or two to spend at lns or hobby train shop. My grandbabies aren't grandbabies anymore and they all love us and love to visit, but they have places to go and people to see and school and all those things that take no time (or all your time) when you're young.

Hubby just finished his 9th of 12 rounds of chemo...he was getting sick before he even left the center Tuesday and he's gotten gradually worse every day. I really have to hover over him and get on his last nerve (that's already shredded) so he doesn't get dehydrated. He sees it as interfering with his "rest".

I had my big check up with pulmonary Tuesday which is a drive some distance away; had already cancelled once and could not miss this one. I went one way and he went the other. Pneumonia shots do a number on me for about 24 hours and this time was no different. With his shredded last nerve and my lack of nerves altogether and the pain and fever of the shot and the all over wish I was dead feeling, the two of us don't have enough room in this house that used to hold six.

They've upped my oxygen to "don't be frugal with the oxygen! Use it!" I've fought it so long I don't know how to just sit around and breath oxygen when I'm not moving.

Today I needed just a few things from "the pig" aka Piggly Wiggly, the place to go when you just need a few things. Ok, for that 10 mile round trip, my 20 year old grandson who is literally my right arm comes and carries my purse, my water, and my tank cause I have to put on the oxygen to do all that. I go NOWHERE by myself.

Hopefully, that's going to change in just a little bit. I'm waiting on oxygen people to come and check out my big unit and bring me some little bitty tanks I can carry and breath all at the same time and make some short runs to the pig or the lns or even to church by myself.

Oh yes! when I turned on my driveway which is a 3 tenths of a mile one lane gravel road, the garbage truck met me head on at the 90 degree curve...he kept coming and kept coming and I had to back all the way out of my road onto the main road cause he wouldn't stop or pull over. I couldn't cause my little car in the ditch would have been catastrophe! The picture is looking from my mailbox towards the 90 degree curve which has virtually no ditch, but around the curve does...that's where I was :(

So, here we are, both 63, both sick, I spent an hour trying to find a check I'd written and didn't register and there it was all the time, registered, subtracted and un-numbered. I dread the day when it's going to be the other way around. The way things are going, I just know that will happen. But, that's probably ok cause I'm real good at paying a medical bill before the insurance has taken care of it and I get these little surprise checks in the mail and it's like Free Money! and I can go buy a book or a chart or some thread!
Here's the "Small Token" by Blackbird designs I hope to have ready to make into a pin cushion by tonight. Wish me luck?
Happy Thursday every buddy!


DJ said...

{{{{{{{Babs}}}}}}}}} How I wish I could hug you for real!! I'm so sorry you aren't feeling well, and that your DH isn't feeling well either. I wish there were something I could do to make you smile! I'm sending prayers heavenward as I type and I'll be asking for some special blessings to come your way. Watch for them!! Hang in there, Babs, the Lord is faithful and promises not to give you more than you can handle. *Hugs and more hugs*

Nancy said...

So sorry you are going through such tough times. Sending caring hugs your way! What you have managed to stitch is lovely, and I look forward to your finish. Take care.

Karen said...

Babs, you and your husband are sure going through difficult times. I hope things get better for both of you soon. Will be thinking about you and will say a prayer for you.

Brigitte said...

Babs, so sorry to see you and your husband having such a tough time.
Your little stitching is so wonderful and I'm looking forward to seeing it finished.